A Hundred Twenty-Two
by Trivher
Summary: Ever wonder how John Kane handled Rick's death? Maybe it was like this.


The song is called "Funeral In The Rain

The song is called "Funeral In The Rain."Chris Isaak sings it, if he wrote it I'm not sure.Disney owns the characters/show but they didn't create it.Now let's move on to the main event……. The fic!  
  
  
_I wait, too long, I'll die, If I'm alone  
I wait, too shy, love dies, I'm alone to cry_

I have never hated so much in my life.It's not a pacific person I hate, just the world in general.Even him.Then I start to hate myself for even thinking that because it wasn't his fault!Still waiting for the damn answers to this mystery with my ill-logical ways I have to blame something.And Rick was always easy to rest the blame upon.A un fair thing to do but I can't help it.It's like a child yelling at his mother saying he hates her but a few minutes later immurces from hiding to hug her.The anger towards him isn't real.I never know anything anymore.I feel like I'm going to explode or worse yet cry.  
  
_I'm walking, I keep on walking down the street  
I'm watching, I keep on searching every face I meet  
I loved her but now I've lost her, loves in vain  
I watch a funeral in the rain_

He's gone.A moment here, forever away.It almost seemed unreal.A nightmare missing the monster and the screams.Rick was my best friend our soul connection ran deep.Or it had.Even before that day he escaping from me.Evolving into something I could barely recognize.Molly and I endlessly tried to return him to what he had been.But it was too late, now he's gone.I was invited to the funeral and excepted to attend, even asked to deliver a speech.I couldn't go.Too afraid of what I might say to her.I hated to hurt her with my frustration.Nothing would be the same.When we look at each other all we will see is his memories.  
  
_I'm walking, I keep on walking around the world  
I'm talking, I keep on talking about a girl  
I loved her but now I've lost her, loves in vain  
I watch a funeral in the rain  
I watch a funeral in the rain_

I told the children good-bye and to be good.I hated leaving them.Have lost Rick had to be a jolt in it's self then to have me vanish must of unbearable.I had to.Make my escape before I must face the truth and reality.Of I was partially to blame for his death.I started too soon and not hard enough to knock common sense back into his head.It was just a car accident no one can control that.Maybe or maybe not.It was what he was driving to see on that night.I could of made him stop.Now Molly is alone broken in two.I care her always have and will.How can I face her?  
  
_All the world, knows the girl  
All the world, knows she's gone  
She's gone...... She's gone...._

It doesn't have to be this way.I could of stuck around.Been her friend.We in time would learned to cope without having him near.Reality of the situation is I was Rick's friend, not her's. Mutual friendship for his sake was all we could muster out.My love for her is real, but there is no sub tense to it.Much like the love of a brother and sister, that don't see eye to eye but put a show on for the parents to fool them.Would Rick hate me from not being there for her?Or is my letting her survive on her own the best answer?I don't know!God damn it Rick!Why did you do it?  
  
_I'm walking, I keep on walking around the clock  
They're watching, they keep talking let them talk  
I loved her but now I've lost her, loves in vain.  
I watch a funeral in the rain  
I watch a funeral in the rain  
I watch a funeral in...... the rain  
She's gone........She's gone.......She's gone........She's gone_

The years rolled by.She moved on.I didn't.I appeared to have but no.I couldn't no matter how hard I tried.I saw her for the first time since I can barely remember when.Still beautiful as ever.I knew there was no chance to salvage any level of friendship.Because the one thing that made me run was there in her eyes.Disgust towards me for being a part of that chapter of her life.I wanted to tell her it wasn't my fault, but how can I say something I believe to be a lie?If Rick were here everything would be happy.Like some corny Disney production.Now I'm lost within myself looking for a way out. 


End file.
